In the last years, I have gone through the crucible of self-worth. I used to enjoy raking in the accomplishments, the acknowledgements, the kudos. 'After all, I thought, I am just using the abilities God gave me. And besides, I am faithfully obeying to : From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. (Luke 12:48).' My focus turned to me, my brand, my recognitions, my successes. It was fulfilling and I was doing really well. Until I wasn't. 

I felt like a juggler who had an impressive amount of balls in the air, masterfully wowing a crowd I cared far too much for. Each ball had a different word on it: Church, Work, Family, Money, Kids, Wife, Friends, Sports. All up in the air, being handled beautifully. The applause was wonderful, the 'wows' were raining from the sky. I felt like a somebody. 

Now, God was there in the ring with me, in the corner, looking intently at me, not as amused and impressed as the crowd behind Him. While I was still juggling, He slowly picked up a ball lying on the ground. He wrote some words on it. I was too busy looking at my own performance to notice anything He was doing.

Then, at the highlight moment in my juggling act, He threw the new ball into my act. It was red. It was heavy. Very heavy. I just had a few seconds to read what He had wrote on it: Wife's Cancer.

I still tried to juggle and keep a straight face. I was still pretending that I could handle it, but the ball was getting heavier. Sweat was streaming down my brow. But I needed the applause, I needed the validation. So I kept going, and the red ball kept getting heavier.

I started dropping the balls. I quickly picked them up and started over. But they kept hitting the unforgiving ground and eventually shattered in millions of pieces. I couldn't perform anymore. I was at the end of me. The clapping stopped. The 'boos' started coming. I tried harder, but to no avail. Grumbles were becoming more audible. The crowd started to get up and leave. I begged them to stay, promised them a better performance. But there was another show opening not too far away, and I had lost them.

And so I was alone with God in the ring. I desperately searched for a crowd, but the seats were as empty as I felt. I finally turned to Him, standing in the corner, looking at me.

'Why did you throw in that big red ball?'
No answer.

'Was I not doing well? Was I not amazing? Was I not using your gifts?'
No answer.

'Didn't you see the crowd?'
No answer.

'Don't you see I have nothing now?'
No answer.

'I feel so empty, so lonely, so lost. I don't know what to do now.'
No answer, but a small smile was starting to radiate from His glorious face.

I dropped to my knees
'OK, Lord. I give up. I can't pick up any of my balls, they are all broken. I can't do anything for any applause, they all left. I'm sorry, I tried everything, and I failed. I need something to fill me. I don't know what makes me valuable anymore.'

A bright white ball appeared in front of Him, collecting all the dirty pieces of my old balls lying on the ground. It had become filthy, red, and far too heavy for anyone I knew to pick it up. 

But He picked it up, cleaned it, made it whiter than snow, and, with His finger, wrote one word on it. He walked over to me, beaming with glory. Under every one of His steps, the word Grace was left as an imprint on the ring floor.

'Get up and take this, it is everything', He said. 'The more you will let this satisfy you, the happier you will truly be. You do not need to juggle anymore. Just hold this new ball and let it become you. And do this for Me only, noone else. I am the only crowd you will ever need.'

I got up, took the bright shining ball in my hands. It filled me in ways I could not have imagined. My destiny was now linked to better understand it and become more like it. 'Thank you' I whispered.

He moved back into the corner.

I admired the word He wrote on the bright, white ball He placed in my hands. I smiled as I read the name I thought I knew well, but forgot. It was my first love. It was the name that was above all others. It was the most majestic and most personal of names. It was the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah. It was the perfect blend of Grace and Truth. It was the Word incarnate. 

It was Jesus.

He was on His way to the cross, the most brutal death a man can suffer. He knew of the excruciating pain and agony that was to come, not only from the physical torture that was the cross, but from the unimaginable spiritual sepration from His Father. He was hours from bleeding tears of blood, imploring His Father to take this cup away from Him. 

He had spent three patient years training twelve ordinary men with their eclectic backgrounds, their doubts, their fears, their qualities and their faults. He knew them intimately and His omniscience forsaw the trials eleven of them would face in a harsh world that hated them and their Gospel message. He knew that hours later, one would betray him, another would deny him and the rest would be in hiding.

That was Christ's context when He 'spoke these words and lifted up His eyes to heaven' (John 17:1). In this prayer, He prays for Himself (v1-5), His disciples (v6-19) and then the all the future elect (v20-26). 

And yet, amidst the burdened-heavy words, He explains a majestic model of Grace throughout redemptive history. Thirty-nine (39) times, He mentions or implies the word 'gave' or 'given' in just twenty-six (26) verses. When we follow the thread, He clearly shows us that the process of the gifts of Grace came from the Father, through Him, to us. 

It is mind-boggling to me that, bearing the aforementioned context, He takes the time to detail thirty-nine times the graceful 'transactions' going from the Father to Christ to the disciples and us. This, to me, is a detailed description of the Gospel: God giving us what we need through Christ by Grace. 

I have made a model of the 'graceful giving transactions' in John 17. This inspires me to appreciate the vastness of Grace, to be thankful for the depth of His sacrifice, to live out a life worthy of the gifts. It brings me to glorify Him through which all was (and still is) given to me.

May it be the same for you.

This site is filled with an analysis of biblical Grace, by expounding every single of the 430+ pertinent verses. And sometimes I feel that dissecting the animal too much can lead to ultimately forgetting the true heartfelt experience of Grace.

And then I read Heather Owen's 'Dear Soiled Dove'. 

Thank you Heather for penning an incredibly vivid image of God's available Grace for us. Thank you for reminding me that beyond the models and the knowledge, Grace is an experience to be lived. Thank you for letting me link to it on my blog. And thank you for making me cry.

Enjoy the beautiful, experiential description of living Grace. 

This is a biblical response in the form of an open letter to Pastor Charles L. Worley of Providence Road Baptist Church and all those pastors who spew anti-gay statements from the pulpit.

I write this letter for 2 reasons. The first is to denounce the misrepresentation of the Bible and its core message of Christ in your speech and, second, to remind you of the Grace you seem to have forgotten...

I also write with 2 implicit assumptions. The first is that you hold the Bible as the inerrant Word of God. It is verbally inspired by the Holy Spirit of God and entirely free from error; it is the final authority in all matters of faith and practice and the true basis of Christian union. The second is that you strive everyday to be more like Christ. He is your mentor, your model, your life's goal and the example you seek to emulate every day. If any of these premises don't apply to you, then I apologise and you can stop reading here.

However, if you agree with the above, then what follows is for you, from the depths of my heart.

...

I am disgusted.

Scratch that.

I am beyond disgusted. I am in the presence of a biblical abomination.

There is a bigger abomination than the issue of gay marriage. There is something worse as a Christian to be exposed to than the homosexuality of those who do not believe. There is something that saddens God more than what sinners do in their sin.

In God's eyes, it is when those who profess and teach His Holy name spew hateful, condemning words to those He has decided to die for. It is when His Grace is misrepresented by a false self-given justice that has no biblical basis at all. 

The real abomination here are your hate-filled words. 

THE (PERCEPTION OF) HATE
“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment” (Matthew 5:22). The act of murder itself was certainly condemned, but hatred is a ‘heart’ sin, and any hateful thought or act is an act of murder in God’s eyes for which justice will be demanded, possibly not in this life but at the judgment. So heinous is the position of hate before God that a man who hates is said to be walking in darkness, as opposed to the light (1 John 2:9, 11). 

THE REAL ABOMINATION
Let me be clear: your words were abhorred by God. 

Proverbs 6:16-19 (NKJV)
16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood,
18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 
19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

When I compare this passage with the clip in the video, I see:
- a proud look
- hands that shed innocent blood
- a heart that devises wicked plans
- feet that are swift in running to evil
- And one who sows discord among brethren

Five out of seven...

MY CHRIST 
The Christ I study, I preach, I expose on this site, I love and I have a growing relationship with is not the same one that you have preached on that Sunday morning. My Christ has reached out to the marginals, ate with the hated tax collectors and prostitutes, sat down with the sinners, healed the sick and graced the broken, over and over again. All in the name of announcing God's kingdom and the Way to it. 

The only people Christ condemned, with the same strength you did in your sermon, were the Pharisees - a prideful religious group that pretended to speak on behalf of God while spewing hatred towards those God loved. Sound familiar ?

We do not seem to believe in the same Christ. 

That same attitude from the video is the crowd anxious to stone the woman in John 8, the Samaritan village shunning the woman in John 4 and the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18.

You have no right to represent Christ with those words. You are using God's name to validate a personal hatred you have towards a certain type of sinner. Christ has never used that language on anyone. And He is God!

LACK OF MEMORY
Do you not know that you are worthy of the same hell that homosexuals deserve ? Your secret sins, your lust of the eyes, your lust of the flesh and your pride of life give you the same one-way ticket you are wishing upon them. The only difference between you and 'them' is God's grace - i.e. nothing you ever did.

You, yourself, have put this verse on your website: 
Ephesians 2:8 - 9 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. 

So why boast now ?

Have you lost your way? Have you forgotten the infinite grace God has given you? Remember that grace that saved you from the abomination you were drowning in? 

THE EFFECTS OF YOUR WORDS
And you are leading sheep down a dark path of hating the sinner above the sin. 

These are the collected comments from your parishioners:
"So he had every right to say what he said about putting them in a pen and feeding them," Providence Road Baptist Church member Geneva Sims tells NBC news affiliate WCNC. "The Bible says they are worthy of death. He only preaches the word...God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

Adds member Stacey Pritchard: "Sometimes you’ve got to be scared straight. He is trying to save those people from going to hell."

Those two comments are riddled with doctrinal errors. Geneva Sims is as worthy of death as the homosexuals you cry out against! And no one was EVER 'scared straight' in the Bible. NO ONE. That wasn't how Jesus operated. Furthermore, you cannot save anyone from hell. Only the Holy Spirit has that power. We are but weak vessels proclaiming His Word. 

Don't you see that they are following you in this dark path of condemnation?  

You are responsible for them. You are their shepherd. You will be accountable to God for what you are teaching them and the effects on their lives. The hatred you demonstrate as a shepherd and His representative is as disgusting (if not more) than the sin of homosexuality. In James 3, I read of the damages your words can do. And the passage starts with: My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. (James 3:1-11)

MY REQUEST
Come back to the Gospel, come back to the real truth and ... grace. (John 1:14,17) Read that Bible open on the podium that is staring back at you. Understand the love God has for you, and asks you to show to others. Be broken before your God and your congregation. Put out a video to ask for forgiveness to the millions on the Internet who would wrongly associate Christ with your hate. Realise your pride in this and accept the wonderful Grace that is waiting in God's arms for you. Start preaching the Christ God wants you to preach, not the one you presented here.

And please, please, please, I beg of you in the name of the One who saved you from your sins in 1959:

Show Grace.

May He bless you in His Grace and Truth,
- GraceGuy

PS. This letter was sent to Pastor Worley.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper "A Theory of Human Motivation." Maslow's hierarchy of needs is often portrayed in the shape of a pyramid, with the largest and most fundamental levels of needs at the bottom, and the need for self-actualization at the top. Maslow's theory suggests that the most basic level of needs must be met before the individual will strongly desire (or focus motivation upon) the secondary or higher level needs.

This theory has become pervasive in our culture and society, being the basis of thought-processes and projects worldwide.

This begged the questions : where is Grace in all of this ? is Grace applicable in the hierarchy of needs ? If so, where ? Can Grace really fill every need I have ?

Turns out, it can. And it doesn't just fill every need, it overly  satisfies it. My needs are completely filled by God's provision of Grace for me, focusing on His glory before my own.

I hope you enjoy seeing how Grace can fulfill everything you need.

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1. Physiological needs
For the most part, physiological needs are obvious – they are the literal requirements for human survival. If these requirements are not met, the human body simply cannot continue to function. 

Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements.

Grace is characterized as being:
Worth more than silver and gold Pr 22:1

Grace is linked with:
Life Jb 10:12, Pr 3:22
Healing Ps 6:3

I am:
Tasting (G) 1Pt 2:2-3
Clothed in (G) Col 3:12

Because of Grace, I can pray for:
For God's healing Ps 6:2
For God to take away my affliction Ps 25:16
For God to heal my soul Ps 41:4
For God's strength Ps 86:16

Because of His Grace, I receive:
Strength Ps 86:16, Is 33:2, Zc 10:6, He 13:9, 2Ti 2:1, 2Co 12:8-9, 1Pt 5:10
Riches 1Co 1:4-5, Ep 3:8

---
2. Safety needs
Safety needs have to do with establishing stability and consistency in a chaotic world. These needs are mostly psychological in nature.

With their physical needs relatively satisfied, the individual's safety needs take precedence and dominate behavior. Safety and Security needs include: Personal security, financial security, health and well-being, safety net against accidents / illness and their adverse impacts.

Grace is characterized as being:
A shield Ps 5:12
Trustworthy Ps 52:8

Grace is linked with:
Truth Dt 10:12, 2Sa 15:20, Ps 61:7, 85:10, 89:14, 138:2, Pr 3:3, 14:22, 16:6, 20:28, Jer 22:3, Ho 4:1, 6:6, Mic 7:20, Zc 7:9, Jn 1:14,17, Col 1:6
Righteousness Ps 33:5, 112:4, 116:5, Pr 21:21, Jr 9:24, Ho 2:19, 10:12, Ro 5:17, 21
Justice Ps 33:5, 101:1, Jr 9:24, Ho 2:19, 12:6, Mic 6:8, Zc 7:9

I am:
Surrounded by (G) Ps 5:12
Standing in (G) Ro 5:2, 1Pt 5:12
Under (G) Ro 6:14

Because of Grace, I can pray for:
For rescue from my trouble Ps 31:9

Because of His Grace, I receive:
Protection Jb 10:12, Ps 5:12, La 3:22
Stability Ps 21:7, 30:7
Preservation Ps 61:7, Pr 20:28

---
3. Love and belonging
After physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, the third layer of human needs are interpersonal and involve feelings of belongingness like friendship, intimacy and family.

Humans have a desire to belong to groups: clubs, work groups, religious groups, family, gangs, etc. We need to feel loved by others, to be accepted by others. Performers appreciate applause. We need to be needed. 

Grace is linked with:
Forgiveness Ps 86:5
Compassion Ps 86:15, 111:4, 112:4, 145:8, Zc 7:9
Love Ho 2:19, 1Ti 1:14
Fellowship 2Co 8:4

I am:
A vessel of (G) Ro 9:23
Showing (G) Zc 7:9

Because of Grace, I can pray for:
For God to take away my loneliness Ps 25:16

I interact with Grace in my:
Giving Jb 6:14, Zc 7:9, Lk 6:32-24, 10:36-37
Dealing, lending Ps 37:26, 112:5
Rebuking Ps 141:5
Speaking Pr 15:18, 22:11, Ec 10:12, Ep 4:29, Col 4:6
Forgiving Mt 18:33, Ep 4:32, 2Co 2:7. 10, Col 3:13
Meetings Ac 11:23
Rejoicing Ac 11:23, 2Co 8:1-2
Encouraging Ac 13:43, Rom 12:3, 2Co 8:1, 6, 2Ti 2:1
Partaking Ep 1:7
Bonding Php 1:7, 1Pt 3:8
Being 2Co 1:12
Praying, longing 2Co 9:14

I bless others:
Because of God's (G) Ge 33:11
(G) is the blessing Ge 43:29, Nb 6:25, 2Sa 15:20, Ac 13:43, Ac 20:32, 
By commending them to (G) Ac 14:26, 15:40, 20:32, Ga 2:9
In the 'hellos' Ro 1:7, 1Co 1:3, 2Co 1:2, Ga 1:3, Ep 1:2, Php 1:2, Col 1:2, 1Th 1:1, 2Th 1:2, 1Ti 1:2, 2Ti 1:2; Tit 1:4, Phm 1:3, 1 Pt 1:2, 2Pt 1:2, 2Jo 1:3, Re 1:4
In the 'good-byes' Ro 16:20, 1Co 16:23, 2Co 13:14, Gal 6:18, Ep 6:24, Col 4:18, 1Th 5:28, 2Th 3:18, 1Ti 6:21, 2Ti 4:22; Tit 3:15, Phm 1:25, He 13:25, Re 22:21

Because of His Grace, I receive:
Fellowship Ga 2:9
Unity with others Ep 4:7-16

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4. Esteem
All humans have a need to be respected and to have self-esteem and self-respect. Esteem presents the normal human desire to be accepted and valued by others. People need to engage themselves to gain recognition and have an activity or activities that give the person a sense of contribution, to feel self-valued, be it in a profession or hobby.

There are two types of esteem needs. First is self-esteem which results from competence or mastery of a task. Second, there's the attention and recognition that comes from others.

Grace is characterized as being:
Praiseworthy Ep 1:6

Grace is linked with:
Glory Ps 84:11
Humility Mic 6:8

I am:
Crowned with (G) Ps 103:4

Because of Grace, I can pray for:
For God to raise me up Ps 41:10

I serve others:
Because of (G) Ro 12:6, Ep 3:2, 7-8, 2Co 4:15, 9:8,14, 1Ti 1:12, 1Pt 3:7

Because of His Grace, I receive:
Honor Pr 11:16, 21:21

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5. Self-actualization
“What a man can be, he must be.” This forms the basis of the perceived need for self-actualization. This level of need pertains to what a person's full potential is and realizing that potential. Maslow describes this desire as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.

The need for self-actualization is "the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming." People who have everything can maximize their potential.

Grace is characterized as being:
Free Ro 3:24, 8:32, 1Co 2:12
Sufficient 2Co 9:8, 12:9
Manifold 1Pt 4:10

Grace is linked with:
Wisdom Pr 31:26, Lk 2:40
Purpose 2Ti 1:9

I am:
Defined by (G) 1Co 15:10

Because of His Grace, I receive:
Joy Ps 9:13-14, Ac 11:23, 2Co 8:1-2
Glory Ps 89:17, 2Co 1:12, 2Th 1:12
Hope Ps 130:7, 2Th 2:16, Tit 2:13, 3:7, 1Pt 1:13
Enlightenment Ezr 9:8
Personal value Jr 9:23-24, Ac 20:24, 1Co 15:10, 2Co 1:12, 12:9
Knowledge 1Co 1:4-5
Satisfaction and sufficiency 2Co 9:8, 12:8-9
Perfection 1Pt 5:10Glorification Ps 23:6, Ep 2:5, 1Pt 1:13

I recently read a profound reflection that begged the scary question: What if God based His love and His blessings for us solely based on our deeds and not His Grace?

The following sends me on my knees in thanks. Thankful that Grace is unmerited favor, that God's love is not a natural reaction to my relationship with Him, that God does not treat me the way I tend to treat others, that Grace is ultimately not a 'deal' I have with the Almighty.

It also springs me back on my feet to serve Him more, obey Him more, love Him more. 

This is not a checklist of things I should do to merit His favor. It won't work by my strength alone. I know. I tried.

This is a realization that His Grace is ever present in those easy-to-forget details and edges me on to want to be closer to Him.


---
What If?

What if, GOD couldn't take the time to bless us today because we couldn't take the time to thank Him yesterday?
 
What if GOD decided to stop leading us tomorrow because we didn't follow Him today?
 
What if, we never saw another flower bloom because we grumbled when GOD sent the Rain?
 
What if GOD didn't walk with us today because we failed to recognize it as His day?
 
What if, GOD took away the Bible tomorrow because we would not read it today?
 
What if, GOD took away His message because we failed to listen to the messenger?
 
What if, GOD didn't send His only begotten Son because He wanted us to be prepared to pay the price for sin.
 
What if, the door of the church was closed because we did not open the door of our heart?
 
What if, GOD stopped loving and caring for us because we failed to love and care for others?
 
What if, GOD would not hear us today because we would not listen to Him ?
 
What if, GOD answered our prayers the way we answer His call to service?

What if, GOD met our needs the way we give Him our lives?

- Anonymous