This is a repost of last year's 'My first Easter' composition. This remains what I have in my heart in contemplating the amazing Grace during this Easter season.

May it bless you.

---"Before we see the cross as something done for us, we need to see the cross as something done by us" 
- John Stott

I asked him to heal me and feed me without any intention to follow him
I tested his teachings and refused to let go of my beliefs
I expected him to liberate us from the Romans

I betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver
I broke bread with him at his last supper
I fled when the soldiers came to take him
I kissed him to show the soldiers who he was
I took him into custody and brought him before the high priest Caiaphus
I put him on an illegal trial with false witnesses
I brought him to the governor Pilate
I questioned him about the accusations
I brought him to Herod and returned him to Pilate
I let the crowd decide his fate and washed my hands of it
I wanted the liberation of a known murderer instead of his
I sentenced him to death to appease the crowd and my ego

I beat and flogged him multiple times with whips
I spat on him
I made a crown of thorns and placed it harshly on his head
I made him carry his cross up the mount and pushed him to the ground
I put his hands on the cross and nailed him to it
I put his feet together on the wooden block at the base of the cross and nailed them to it
I lifted the cross and slipped it in the hole
I divided his clothes and cast lots for it
I placed a sign above his head 
I give him vinegar to drink
I pierced his side and saw blood and water spill out
I looked on approvingly, content of his death
I mocked his lack of power, even while I was hanging on a cross beside him
I denied ever knowing him, three times
I doubted his messianic claims
I heard him say ridiculous words to his supposed father
I saw him draw his last breath

I took the limp body off the cross
I placed it in a tomb and rolled a massive stone to close it
I guarded the tomb and prevented anyone from reaching it
I kept the empty tomb a secret
I persecuted those who thought he was risen

I was there that first Easter. My sins did all of this. And yet, through faith, His Grace covered me.


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