Ever since I started the journey of studying the infinitely profound concept of Grace, I was burdened with the desire to understand Christ's relationship model. How did Christ show Grace in his contact with others?

MY QUESTIONS
I knew Love was the primary motivation (John 3:16), but how did he do it in the everyday situations? How did He demonstrate that Love with the people around Him? Was there a pattern in His interactions that I could learn from? Were there constant character traits that were shown? Was there someting that attracted them to Him and, conversly, was there something that prevented Him to show His love to them?

MY FOUNDATION
My first question was: Did Christ have overarching attributes that qualified who He was? Yes. I used John 1:14,17 as my foundation: Christ, full of Grace and Truth. My first thesis was that His contact with people was imbued with both amazing Grace and godly Truth.

My second question pertained to the initial contact He made with others. I had already studied why His interactions with the Pharisees were so different than the others. But what was the common thread between those who were attracted to Him? or those He sought out? Did they commonly demonstrate something I could learn? My thesis here was that both faith and humility were present at the scene.

My third question was one of process. Is there a particular recurring order Christ prefers when He interacts? Does He demonstrate Grace before Truth? or vice versa? My analysis showed that Grace (more often then not) preceded Truth.

MY METHODOLOGY
First, I took the 'Harmony of the Gospels'. The episode structure within the table is based on Edward Robinson's A Harmony of the Gospels in Greek as well as Steven L. Cox and Kendell H Easley's Harmony of the Gospels. I wanted to establish a chronology for the events of the life of Jesus depicted in the four canonical gospels.

Second, I excluded 2 particular relationships: 
- His dealings with the Pharisees because their pride prevented any graceful contact with Him
- His teachings and parables to the followers and disciples because it was an on-going three year (often one way) relationship

MY FINDINGS
I was amazed to discover that Jesus had a model He used very often with the people around Him. He started by establishing contact by going to see someone, accepting someone's request for Him or sitting down with strangers who unknowingly needed Him. He was very gracious with His time with sinners, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans and other of society's refuse. He gave a lot of Himself.

Once He established the contact, once He developed the relationship, He gave some form of grace. It could be a healing, an encouragement, a protection from others, a glimpse of the Kingdom, a forgiveness, a touch, a listening, a relief of whatever suffering they had.

Then, after dispensing grace, He would finish with a certain truth about God or command future actions to take. Whether it was 'go and sin no more' or 'Do not tell anyone what has happened here', Christ would finish the interaction with a teaching for the crowd or an exhortation for the graced one.

MY DOCUMENT
The document below takes each interaction, regrouping them where they appeared in the Gospel account. I then separated the interaction in 3 parts, with the references of the verses that pertain to:
1. The relationship established with Humility and / or Faith
2. The acts of or explanations on Grace
3. The acts of or explanations on Truth

May it become my personal relationship model.

It's taken me some time to realize that some concepts are not related to others. I would find it easy to love those who loved me back, to believe in what I can touch, to hope when all evidences point to a certainty, to be happy when everything goes my way and to feel graced when I worked hard at doing good around me.

All lies. All illusions. All smoke and mirrors.

When I put my ego aside a moment, I discover that:

'Love has nothing to do with what I feel or others' love towards me
Faith has nothing to do with what I see
Knowledge has nothing to do with my reasoning
Hope has nothing to do with hard data
Joy has nothing to do with my circumstances
Grace has nothing to do with my deeds'

This reminds me of what I wrote earlier:

'Riches have nothing to do with what I own
Wisdom has nothing to do with what I know
Salvation has nothing to do with what I do
Freedom has nothing to do with what I choose
Glory has nothing to do with how others see me
Food has nothing to do with what I eat or drink
Value has nothing to do with my accomplishments
Beauty has nothing to do with what I see
Strength has nothing to do with what I can bear
Pleasure has nothing to do with me
Power has nothing to do with what I control'

Ouch.

When I let the circumstances dictate my joy...
When I feel lonely in a crowd...

When I am right and others are wrong...
When I am wrong and others are right...

When I feel I am better than others...
When I am too weak to go on...

When I rebuke and discipline those under my authority...
When I lose patience with the ones I love...

When I take for granted the blessings around me...
When I fail again in my weakness...

When I let past mistakes and hurts poison my present...
When I let worries and doubts creep into today...

When I get caught up in trying to fulfill my own needs...
When I forget the importance of meeting others' needs...

When I am drowning in myself
When my flights are fueled by my ego

When guilt clouds my outlook
When forgiveness seems impossible to give

When I pursue vain accomplishments...
When I don't have time for those who matter...

When I neglect to spend time with my Creator...
When I forget what my Savior has done...
When I choose to stray from my Lord's plan...

... I need Grace.

At this point, after having exposed Grace, Jesus shifts gears and makes the conversation personal. His goal is to demonstrate her need for the gift of Grace he was talking about, without making her feel the shame and rebuke society has placed on her.

It is VERY important to note that Jesus knows her. He knows her life, her thoughts, her feelings, her past, her sins, her insecurities and her fears. He had the  'advantage' of being God and being able to see her heart. For us to attain that level of intimacy with the people we are talking to requires an enormous amount of listening, asking questions and showing genuine care for their lives.

It is by listening and caring for others that will bring them to listen and care about what we have to say. Not the other way around. We cannot expect people to listen to us just because we have the Bible. The pill of Truth cannot be swallowed without the water of Grace. 

Jesus, the three-times holy God, was speaking with a six-times sinful woman by a well. Knowing the depth of her depravity, there are so many statements He could have uttered to her at that point. 

He could have said:

• Do you not know who I am ? I am perfect ! and you most certainly are not.
  
• Do you know how many times I have watched you sin ? how many times you have hurt me ?
  
• How could you have done all you did ?
  
• How could you look at yourself in the mirror ?
  
• Aren't you ashamed of yourself ?
  
• Don't you see what you've become ?
  
• Don't you see how others see you ?
  
• Don't you realize the sin you are in ?
  
• Didn't you know that sexual sins is the worst kind of sin ?
  
• Don't you think you deserve the social rebuking done to you ?
  
• Five husbands ? That's disgusting !
  
• You're living with someone who isn't your husband now ? In sin ?
  
• How can anyone ever love you again ?
  
• Don't you know what the Law says about you ?
  
• What would 'your father' Jacob say if he saw you now ?
  
• You know someone like me shouldn't be talking to someone like you right ? I'm doing you a favor!
  
• You know you are going to hell right ?
  

Sound familiar ? Those judgments leave our lips and or enter our ears far too often.

Amazingly and against all expectations, he doesn't say anything remotely close to that.

John 4:16: Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”
17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 
18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” 

What just happened ?

He makes a request knowing well what her state is. She answers back, truthfully I might add, probably looking at the ground in shame. Then Jesus does something remarkable. He states the fullness of her sin and then... stops!

He doesn't go into a long tirade about the gravity of the sin, about the depth of her depravity or about the guilt she should be feeling. He could have done so, He is God! Rather, He states it as it is and then changes the subject to talk about worship.

Jesus demonstrates that there is a line where it becomes important to stop when diving into the past. He does not shy away, belittle or bury the sin. That's Truth. He addresses it and shows her that the gift is for her... and then moves on to her other concerns. 

That's Grace.

I have recently been re-exposed to the fragility of life : how it hangs by a very thin thread, how we can't control what happens to us and how Grace is all that really keeps that thread from breaking at any moment. 

I then started reflecting on epitaphs, those sentences we leave on our tombstones for all of prosterity to see. The questions started flooding in: What sentence would define me ? What words would best describe my dreams, my goals, my aspirations, my achievements, my relationships ? We are such complex people, how can it all be reduced to one last saying ? If the passerby knew absolutely nothing about me, what could I tell them ? What do I really stand for ? What is at my core ?

I searched my soul for the basic truths I hold more than anything else. I have found 3:

1. I was loved enough for Him to send his Son and graced enough to put my faith in Him
   
2. The highest achievement I could reach is to be like Christ. And I take John 1:14,17's description of Him as my personal daily guide : 'filled with Grace and Truth'
   
3. My purpose on this planet is to receive from God what he sends me and share with others
   

And while I don't expect my epitaph to be written soon, it was a blessing to reflect on what it would say. 

Enjoy.

I often find myself expecting Grace to be given after a few prayers or an intense but short time with God. And then, I get disappointed or give up on the request when it doesn't come at my speed. It mustn't be in God's will, I foolishly rationalize.

I am then reminded of the heroes of faith, who were promised a certain Grace and had to wait years for it -  despite some often questionable actions during that waiting period. 

Noah was promised to be saved from a devastating flood at 500 years old. He built an ark for years (100 at most) while being mocked by his peers. He was then in the ark for a little more than 1 year. He was graced with life and he saw the promise-rainbow.

Abraham was promised to be the father of a great nation, at 75 years old, while being childless. He waited 25 years in which he lacked faith, took some horrible decisions to accelerate God's plan, assumed his way was better than God's. He was graced with a child.

Isaac, Abraham's son, was the child of promise and was saved from being sacrificed. He waited 20 years before he was graced with twin boys.

Jacob waited 14 years to marry the woman he loved. He waited more than 20 years to reunite with a favored son he thought was dead. He was graced with joy and a full life.

Joseph dreamt of greatness. He was then sold to slavery by his brothers, unjustly sent to jail for keeping his integrity and forgotten in jail by those who promised to vouch for him. Joseph waited nearly 20 hard years. He was graced with greatness.

Moses was 40 when he decided to associate himself with Israel as their deliverer.  It was not in God’s timing, and after having taken matters into his own hands and killing an Egyptian, he fled into the wilderness of Midian.  There he married, had two sons, and met God at the burning bush when he was 80.  So at 80 years of age, Moses marched back into Egypt and demanded the release of the Jewish people, which he led out of Egypt across the Red Sea.  Then, after Israel's disobedience, he wandered for another 40 years in the desert. Moses waited a total 80 years before seeing the grace God promised him: the Promised Land.

Job did not even know what was happening to him. The richest man in his time, he lost everything (including his children) and had no explicit promise of grace to hold on to. For months, he suffered the worst kinds of pain, unswayed by his friends' bad advice, staying faithful to God. He was graced with double of everything he had.

David was annointed king at around 20 years old and waited until he was 30 to be crowned. He waited another 7.5 years to reign over all of Israel. During that time, he killed Goliath, he played the harp in Saul's court, he fled to the wilderness to evade Saul's pursuit and he became the champion of the oppressed. He was graced with a kingdom and a lineage that would produce the Saviour.

Simeon the Righteous was promised to see the Christ before his death. He was an old man when he was graced to hold Jesus in his arms. The prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher, never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying for close to 14 years. She was graced to see him at 84 years old and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

Jesus spoke in the temple at 12 years old and then waited 18 years to begin his public ministry. He knew of the hardships to come and yet still pursued. During His ministry, He was mocked, hated, used, misunderstood and reviled. Before Jesus arrived at the cross He patiently trained the disciples. Even after His miracles and proclamations of being the Son of God, the disciples were often confused as to who Jesus was. Jesus was still trying to teach them how to persevere in prayer up until the moment He was taken in the garden to be crucified. At the cross, He endured the worst death penalty created by man to give believers access to the Father. He was Grace and Truth incarnate. He recieved resurection, glory, power and dominion over everything. 

He is the ultimate example of waiting for the promised grace God gives us.

Grace. It sometimes takes time... but it's worth it!

In Lam 3:23, God tells us that His wondrous Graces are renewed every morning. This prompted the following question: what exact Graces does He have in provision for me every day ? Does the Bible get more specific about things God does for me every day, even if I deserve nothing ? In short: yes.

Every day, these Graces are there for me:

I am led and guided Ex 13:21-22, 40:38, Num 14:14, Neh 9:19, Ps 78:14
I am watched over 1Ki 8:29, 2Chr 6:20
I am at peace when I sleep Ps 4:8
I am accompanied Ps 23:6
I am shown my sins Ps 32:3-4
I am protected Ps 121:6
I am being accused and defended Rev 12:10

Grace, it's every day.

"Before we see the cross as something done for us, we need to see the cross as something done by us" 
- John Stott

I asked him to heal me and feed me without any intention to follow him
I tested his teachings and refused to let go of my beliefs
I expected him to liberate us from the Romans

I betrayed him for 30 pieces of silver
I broke bread with him at his last supper
I fled when the soldiers came to take him
I kissed him to show the soldiers who he was
I took him into custody and brought him before the high priest Caiaphus
I put him on an illegal trial with false witnesses
I brought him to the governor Pilate
I questioned him about the accusations
I brought him to Herod and returned him to Pilate
I let the crowd decide his fate and washed my hands of it
I wanted the liberation of a known murderer instead of his
I sentenced him to death to appease the crowd and my ego

I beat and flogged him multiple times with whips
I spat on him
I made a crown of thorns and placed it harshly on his head
I made him carry his cross up the mount and pushed him to the ground
I put his hands on the cross and nailed him to it
I put his feet together on the wooden block at the base of the cross and nailed them to it
I lifted the cross and slipped it in the hole
I divided his clothes and cast lots for it
I placed a sign above his head 
I give him vinegar to drink
I pierced his side and saw blood and water spill out
I looked on approvingly, content of his death
I mocked his lack of power, even while I was hanging on a cross beside him
I denied ever knowing him, three times
I doubted his messianic claims
I heard him say ridiculous words to his supposed father
I saw him draw his last breath

I took the limp body off the cross
I placed it in a tomb and rolled a massive stone to close it
I guarded the tomb and prevented anyone from reaching it
I kept the empty tomb a secret
I persecuted those who thought he was risen

I was there that first Easter. My sins did all of this. And yet, through faith, His Grace covered me.

- GraceGuy

I often marvel at Jesus' ability to see the heart, the intent and the thoughts of the person in front of Him. This ability, a unique characteristic of God, was prevalent in the Old Testament as well. For example, when Samuel searched for the next king after Saul, The Lord told him 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.' (1 Samuel 16:7)

Jesus really saw them, saw who they were and what they were thirsting for. He saw their quest. With those who humbly and genuinely searched the truth, He graced them with His time, His knowledge, His healing, His love. He could judge their humility in 'real-time' and dispense Grace to those who needed it.

There are too many examples of Jesus seeing people truly as they were: naked, desperate, sick, humiliated, curious, empty, hungry, thirsty. 

Of them: the disciples at their calling, Nicodemus, the Samaritan woman at the well, the centurion, the thousands of followers and the multitudes, the widow of Nain, Jairus, Peter on the water, the Gentile woman, the blind man in Bethsaida, the adulterous woman, Mary and Martha, Zacchaeus, the paralytic lowered from the roof, Lazarus, the one leper who came back, the rich young ruler, the blind man near Jericho, all of Jerusalem, the thief on the cross, the weeping women at the cross, Mary Magdalene at the tomb, the disciples at His appearing, etc.

One particular telling example is the forgiven woman, told in Luke 7:36-50. Simon, the Pharisee, saw what we would have seen: uncleanness, sin, a wasted life. Jesus saw the worth of her soul, the warmth of her sacrifice, the willingness of her service which brought her to the withdrawal of her sin. Ironically, Simon did not realize the depth of his own sin and his lack of love resulted in a lack of appreciation of God's forgiveness.

There were unfortunately ample 'Simons' in His time. Jesus saw hardened hearts and pride in those who seeked only to discredit Him, hurt Him, discount Him, trap Him, kill Him. He could see their insidious intentions and was often able to respond in kind (link to Pharisees). 

Of them: the Devil, the Pharisees, the scribes, the Sadduceens, Judas, the moneychangers in the temple, the followers who wanted more signs. 

So what about me ? It's great to see Jesus' ability in action, but how can I emulate Him ? This strange person in front of me: what is the intent ? the heart ? the thoughts ?

Here's what I discovered was the way to get to know them:

1. Find the time to be completely available
   
2. Ask open-ended questions
   
3. Listen intently to their answers
   
4. Repeat to make sure I understand
5. Admit I don't know the solution
6. Listen to them some more
   
7. Connect with their emotion, no matter how irrational it sounds
8. Genuinely care
   
9. ... And did I mention listening ?
   

Are they frustrated, irritated, overwhelmed, doubting, dissapointed, searching, discouraged, angry, worried, insecure, carrying guilt, unworthy, desperate, fearful, powerless ?

Why ? and how can I listen more ?

It's at that point that Jesus gave Grace. And it's only then that I can give Grace.